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Thread: Just Pet Jokes

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    Default Just Pet Jokes



    The American Kennel club has decided to recognize these new breeds of Dogs that are the result of cross breeding:


    Collie + Lhaso Apso: Collapso, a dog that folds up for easy transport.

    Spitz + Chow Chow: Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up alot.

    Bloodhound + Borzoi: Bloody Bore, a dog that's not much fun.

    Pointer + Setter: Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet.

    Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier: Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries.

    Pekingese + Lhaso Apso: Peekasso, an abstract dog.

    Labrador Retriever + Curly Coated Retriever:Lab Coat Retriever, the choice of research scientists.

    Newfoundland + Basset Hound: Newfound Asset Hound,a dog for financial advisers.

    Terrier + Bulldog: Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes.

    Bloodhound + Labrador: Blabrador, a dog that barks incessantly.

    Malamute + Pointer: Moot Point, owned by...oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway.

    Collie + Malamute: Commute, a dog that travels to work.

    Deerhound + Terrier: Derriere, a dog that's true to the end.



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    Default Just Pet Jokes



    Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying "DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!" posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register.


    He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?"

    "Yep, that's him," he replied.

    The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?"

    "Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."


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    So many cats, so few recipes !!

    8~\o
    "Anybody can become an American but ya have to be born a TEXAN"

    "Ya know I haven't been everywhere but it's on my bucket list"

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    Quote Originally Posted by Texan View Post
    So many cats, so few recipes !!

    8~\o
    That's poor taste.

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    Default Just Pet Jokes



    Speak To Me


    A guest at dinner noticed the small family dog looking hungrily at every bite she took. Finally she took a small piece of meat from her plate and held it up for him.


    "Speak!" she said to the dog.

    The dog answered, "Under the circumstances, I hardly know what to say!"


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    Default Just Pet Jokes



    The Truth About Cats & Dogs

    A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods!

    A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a God!



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    Quote Originally Posted by David357 View Post


    The Truth About Cats & Dogs

    A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods!

    A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a God!


    That's just about right. Only thing missing is the cat biting or scratching you while...?playing?.
    The only reason some people are still alive is it's illegal to shoot them.
    American Legion Rider & Patriot Guard Rider

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    Default Just Pet Jokes



    A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window saying:


    "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."

    A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.

    Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he led him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.

    The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type."

    The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.

    The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to be good with a computer."

    The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager.

    By this time the manager was totally dumbfounded! He looked at the dog and said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job."

    The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the part about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.

    The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be bilingual."

    The dog looked at him straight in the face and said, "Meow."


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    Nothing is worst than raining Cats and Dogs........Except Hailing Taxi Cabs.......
    Sometimes a Cigar is Just a Cigar.....
    2019 Tri-Glide.......

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    Default Just Pet Jokes



    Memos From a Cat Diary

    DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue. (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured.

    But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.



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