I like my Grits made as Cheese Grits with Bacon Bits...........Down here we call Grits ( Georgia Ice Cream ).....
What Is Grits?
Nobody knows... Some folks believe grits are grown on bushes and are harvested by midgets by shaking the bushes after spreading sheets around them. Many people feel that grits are made from ground-up bits of white corn. These are obviously lies spread by Communists and terrorists. Nothing as good as a Grits can be made from corn. The most recent research suggests that the mysterious Manna that God rained down upon the Israelites during their time in the Sinai Desert was most likely Grits. Critics disagree, stating that there is no record of biscuits, butter, salt, and red eye gravy raining down from the sky, and that God would not punish his people by forcing them to eat Grits without these keyingredients.
How Grits are Formed:
Grits are formed deep underground under intense heat and pressure. It takes over 1000 years to form a single Grit. Most of the world's grit mines are in South Carolina, and are guarded day and night by armed guards and pit bull dogs. Harvesting the Grit is a dangerous occupation, and many Grit miners lose their lives each year so that Grits can continue to be served morning after morning for breakfast (not that having Grits for lunch and dinner is out of the question). Yankees have attempted to create a synthetic Grits. They call them Cream of Wheat. As far as we can tell, the key ingredients of Cream of Wheat are Elmer's Glue and shredded styrofoam. These synthetic grits have also been shown to cause nausea, and may leave you unable to have children.
Historical Grits:
As we mentioned earlier, the first known mention of the Grits was by the Ancient Israelites in the Sinai Desert. After that, the Grits was not heard from for another 1,000 years. Experts feel that the Grits was used during this time only during secret religious ceremonies and was kept from the public due to its rarity. The next mention of the Grits was found amidst the ruins of the ancient city of Pompeii in a woman's personal diary. The woman's name was Herculaneum Jemimaneus (Aunt Jemima to her friends.)
The 10 Commandments of Grits:
I. Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits
II. Thou shalt not eat thy Grits with a spoon or knife
III. Thou shalt not eat Cream of Wheat and call it Grits, for this is blasphemy
IV. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Grits
V. Thou shalt use only Salt, Butter, and red eye gravy as toppings for thy Grits
VI. Thou shalt not eat Instant Grits
VII. Thou shalt not put ketchup on thy Grits
VIII. Thou shalt not put margarine on thy Grits.
IX. Thou shalt not eat toast with thy Grits, only biscuits made from scratch
X. Thou shalt eat grits on the Sabbath for this is manna from heaven.
How to Cook Grits for one serving:
Boil 1.5 cups of water with salt and a little butter.
Add 5 TBL of Grits.
Reduce to a simmer and allow the Grits to soak up all the water.
When a pencil stuck into the grits stands alone, it is done.
That's all there is to cooking grits.
How to make red eye gravy:
Fry salt cured country ham in cast iron pan.
Remove the ham when done, add coffee to the gravy and simmer for several minutes.
Great on grits and biscuits.
How to Eat Grits:
Immediately after removing your grits from the stove top, add a generous portion of butter or red eye gravy. (WARNING: Do NOT use low-fat butter.) The butter should cause the Grits to turn a wondrous shade of yellow. (Hold a banana or a yellow rain slicker next to your Grits. If the colors match, you have the correct amount of butter.) In lieu of butter, pour a generous helping of red eye gravy on your grits. Be sure to pour enough to have some left for sopping up with your biscuits. Never, ever substitute canned or store bought biscuits for the real thing because they cause cancer, rotten teeth and impotence. Next, add salt. (NOTICE: The correct ratio of Grit to Salt is 10:1. Therefore, for every 10 grits, you should have 1 grain of salt.)
Now begin eating your grits. Always use a fork, never a spoon, to eat Grits. Your grits should be thick enough so they do not run through the tines of the fork. The correct beverage to serve with Grits is black coffee. DO NOT use cream or, heaven forbid, Skim Milk. Your grits should never be eaten in a bowl because Yankees will think it's Cream of Wheat.
Ways to Eat Leftover Grits:
(Leftover grits are extremely rare)
Spread them in the bottom of a casserole dish,
Cover and place them in the refrigerator overnight.
The Grits will congeal into a gelatinous mass.
Next morning, slice the Grits into squares and fry them in 1/2" of cooking oil and butter until they turn a golden brown. Many people are tempted to pour syrup onto Grits served this way. This is, of course, unacceptable.
BLESSING BEFORE EATING GRITS:
May the lord bless these grits. May no Yankee ever get the recipe. May I eat grits every day while living. And may I die while eating grits.
AMEN
Borrowed from another fourm, too good not to share here Enjoy!
Never ride faster than your Angel can fly!
I like my Grits made as Cheese Grits with Bacon Bits...........Down here we call Grits ( Georgia Ice Cream ).....
2013 Tri-Glide with a few extras
Vietnam Vet 66 / 67
CQ CQ DE KD4LZL
Member Patriot Guard Riders
If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
I eat plain grits every morning, cook with water, when done stir in a bit of milk and eat them
Nuff Said," Were Burnin Daylight, Lets Ride"(Sober 37 years)
Current ride : 2021 FREEWHEELER M8, oldest ride 1960 FL
Flo...[Polly Holliday] ....Made the Saying 'Kiss my Grits famous on the TV Show Alice..
Sometimes a Cigar is Just a Cigar.....
2019 Tri-Glide.......
Plenty of butter,salt & pepper for me. As Flo would say
2020 TriGlide Tahitian Teal aka (Hawaiian Hussy). Avon frt & Comfortred rear tires. ProAction frt & rear susp. RZ seat. DK floorboard extension & rear axle retainer kit with EBS, HD pull -back bars. Custom Dynamics front turn signals & Vent grill. All ,HD "Edge Cut " accessories.
Randall, you are truly full of grits.
Present ride--2021 Jeep Wrangler Sahara Altitude
Past rides…2020 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited Sport...2015 TriGlide...2009 Night Train...2008 Yamaha royal star tour deluxe...2006 Yamaha Vstar 1300...2005 Yamaha majesty...2003 Honda reflex...1991 Kawasaki 454 ltd...1985 Honda Rebel...1984 Honda Elite
I once had a waitress ask me how I liked my grits, without even looking up I said... Left in the kitchen.
Randal... you need to get out more, son... ! I’m beginning to worry about you...
New course heading Mr. Sulu: ...2nd star to the right and straight on til morning...!!
Scooter and Sassi....2 furrever.
Present ride--2021 Jeep Wrangler Sahara Altitude
Past rides…2020 Jeep Wrangler Unlimited Sport...2015 TriGlide...2009 Night Train...2008 Yamaha royal star tour deluxe...2006 Yamaha Vstar 1300...2005 Yamaha majesty...2003 Honda reflex...1991 Kawasaki 454 ltd...1985 Honda Rebel...1984 Honda Elite
My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style. – Maya Angelou