FuzzyWuzHe
New member
My estranged daughter of 12 years, reached out to me yesterday. She sent me a letter with her contact info asking that I give her my contact info. Since it was early afternoon, I emailed her back my info (not knowing if she was at work or what). I thought the request was a bit odd, since my ex wife had all my info, as well as, her Grandmother had my info too.
Within 5 minutes of hitting the send button, my phone rang. It was Ashley. We talked for about 20 minutes, catching up, as it where. I finally told her that although I was ecstatic that she had contacted me, I was a little curious as to why after 12 years she contacted me.
She started by telling me her Grand Father died about 18 months ago. Then she went into some detail about how her Mom's husband had a heart attack and a quadruple bypass. Next she talked about how after getting over the surgery, he began to feel his own mortality and decided he needed to reestablish a bond with his estranged children. And how he felt the only way to do that was to leave her mother.
Next she told me how her mother, my ex-wife, had been diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease (she got this diagnosis at age 50), and how Parkinson's had killed her grand father. She then went on to tell me about her "talks" with her mom about all the mistakes her mom had made in her life and specifically how her brother, my son, was only her half brother. I had long suspected my son was not indeed my blood son, but, it never occurred to me to love him less. At this point she told me that she started to take a look at her life as well and realized that her and her son (Surprise, I'm a grand father), were lucky to have this opportunity to evaluate their lives.
Then came the final bomb of information. In May my ex-wife took her own life with a gun. Apparently, my ex, a very strong women, decided that she was not going to go through the same horrible death her father did and got her affairs in order and calmly took her life. She liquidated all of her assets and put the money in two accounts for my daughter and son. She did this because she was afraid her last husband would not take care of them. After that she legally purchased a hand gun and ammo. She sat one morning, drank her morning tea and read the paper. When she finished her tea, she put her feet up on a foot stool, crossed her legs and killed herself. My version of these events is based on police information relayed to me by my daughter. But more importantly, if is how I would imagine my ex, once she set her mind to taking her life, would of carried it out.
The afternoon of the day she killed herself, Ashley received a Fedex package that contained paperwork showing how to access all the money her mom left them and what her wishes where concerning her remains. The package also contained a suicide note stating that "she was not going out in Parkinson's terms but her own". Ashley tried to call her mom, with no luck. She then called the police and asked they check on her and drove to her mom's house, 45 minute drive. When she got there the house was crime scene as it was an unattended death. I guess the silver lining here is that Ashley didn't discover the body.
There's not much us mere mortals can do in this situation, but, I believe in the power of prayer. I ask for prayers for peace for my daughter, my son, my newly discovered grand son and my ex mother in law. My ex was a christian, so she's with her Father in heaven, in that I take solace.
The good news, if there can be any in all this, is that my Daughter and I agreed that we needed to stay in touch with each other. I also ask for your prayers, that if it's God's will, that will happen. Since my daughter lives in Texas, I guess I'll have reason to go there in the future.
Within 5 minutes of hitting the send button, my phone rang. It was Ashley. We talked for about 20 minutes, catching up, as it where. I finally told her that although I was ecstatic that she had contacted me, I was a little curious as to why after 12 years she contacted me.
She started by telling me her Grand Father died about 18 months ago. Then she went into some detail about how her Mom's husband had a heart attack and a quadruple bypass. Next she talked about how after getting over the surgery, he began to feel his own mortality and decided he needed to reestablish a bond with his estranged children. And how he felt the only way to do that was to leave her mother.
Next she told me how her mother, my ex-wife, had been diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease (she got this diagnosis at age 50), and how Parkinson's had killed her grand father. She then went on to tell me about her "talks" with her mom about all the mistakes her mom had made in her life and specifically how her brother, my son, was only her half brother. I had long suspected my son was not indeed my blood son, but, it never occurred to me to love him less. At this point she told me that she started to take a look at her life as well and realized that her and her son (Surprise, I'm a grand father), were lucky to have this opportunity to evaluate their lives.
Then came the final bomb of information. In May my ex-wife took her own life with a gun. Apparently, my ex, a very strong women, decided that she was not going to go through the same horrible death her father did and got her affairs in order and calmly took her life. She liquidated all of her assets and put the money in two accounts for my daughter and son. She did this because she was afraid her last husband would not take care of them. After that she legally purchased a hand gun and ammo. She sat one morning, drank her morning tea and read the paper. When she finished her tea, she put her feet up on a foot stool, crossed her legs and killed herself. My version of these events is based on police information relayed to me by my daughter. But more importantly, if is how I would imagine my ex, once she set her mind to taking her life, would of carried it out.
The afternoon of the day she killed herself, Ashley received a Fedex package that contained paperwork showing how to access all the money her mom left them and what her wishes where concerning her remains. The package also contained a suicide note stating that "she was not going out in Parkinson's terms but her own". Ashley tried to call her mom, with no luck. She then called the police and asked they check on her and drove to her mom's house, 45 minute drive. When she got there the house was crime scene as it was an unattended death. I guess the silver lining here is that Ashley didn't discover the body.
There's not much us mere mortals can do in this situation, but, I believe in the power of prayer. I ask for prayers for peace for my daughter, my son, my newly discovered grand son and my ex mother in law. My ex was a christian, so she's with her Father in heaven, in that I take solace.
The good news, if there can be any in all this, is that my Daughter and I agreed that we needed to stay in touch with each other. I also ask for your prayers, that if it's God's will, that will happen. Since my daughter lives in Texas, I guess I'll have reason to go there in the future.
